Slim slow

So lately per my "I know why I am fat" I have had the revelation to eat like an American and look like a European...therefore meaning I go on a fad diet that makes me miserable, only to bounce back later...crap.  My diet of choice?  Slim fast.  The name...does not really live up to it, as I have observed.  Due to my lack of patience the term "fast" to me makes me think of email rather than snail mail...or the judicial process.  The slim fast diet represents the latter.  Lots of inflation...and uncomfortable times.  Though, I am liking it so far, it goes like this:
3 snacks a day...100 calories (I personally eat the snack bar, and then a snack with higher calories..but it all balances out)
2 meals a day...200 calories each...this means a slimfast shake...or a meal bar.  Both of which smell funny.
1 normal meal...500 calories...ish.  Which for me is ending up being about 700 due to my dessert cravings...Spain, you need more sugar, help a girl out.

Total calories?  1200....I was eating this before on my healthy kick.  So slim fast...I am not planning on replenishing your stock, your products, though healthy, smell funny.  And I was doing fine on my own before my sugar cravings...plus, I have finished off my German chocolate.